June 2010
6 posts
i’m i really smart or is everyone else really stupid?
;)
fleet foxes
they are oh, so amazing….
He doesn’t know why
Penniless & tired with your hair grown long I was looking at you there and your face looked wrong memory is a fickle siren’s song I didn’t understand In the gentle light as the morning nears You don’t say a single word of the last two years Where you were or when you reached the frontier I didn’t understand ...
can i sue an online social network for emotional distress? no? damn…
i felt a little freedom last night. i wrote that song ‘pretending’ and i’m fairly happy with it. i feel like i can only express myself honestly when i write a song and it doesn’t happen often…
it’s so nice to get it out…
also, i would like to be outside right now dammit…
new song i’ll be hopefully forcing myself to work on: pretending.
right now i think it might go something like this:
i’m trying really hard;
to pretend;
that everything is ok;
and that in the end, you’ll be my friend.
i need a bandage...
love these girls… watch the youtube, so worth it!
First Aid Kit: You’re Not Coming Home Tonight
Yeah you cooked his dinners You raised his children and still He’s not satisfied He says I rather switch with you You don’t now hard it is To work from 9-5 But he speaks with his eyes closed And eventhough you’re not all alone He’s never there to be with...
May 2010
1 post
welp
welp, i did it. i’ve upgraded my camera body… i can now record video. FUCK YA!
April 2010
5 posts
art signals: week six: summer! →
well i’ve been looking forward to this weeks challenge since.. ALL week! not only do i love this weeks theme because it is SUMMER, but because this is our first week having a guest artist! if you didn’t catch our introduction of dc bowers in our last post, check it out here. and speaking of dc…
one day...
what’s your dream?
stuff & things: take me back. →
i miss the weekend. i miss the hearts. those hearts. i miss the laughing. i miss the feeling of my skin fitting exactly right. i miss the perfectness of being around dear friends and simply enjoying everything there is about this small little life we’ve been given. and i’ve realized that i don’t have this kind of perfect friendship here in this sprawling city of mine. at least to...
Guster - manifest destiny:
“Bones are broken and the will is sunk, How did everything get so fucked up? Do you want to change your mind? You can always change your mind
You and I could quit this scene, Build a town and then secede, Like an Adam and an Eve
‘Cause to the dreamers go the dreams, But believers have the lead, It’s a frightening, frightening thing.
Born to the land of...
pics
these are amazing…
steffaloo:
well these just make me wanna curl up and explode.
jess gough photography (above)
i wish i knew where the above was from, but i don’t. or this one..
and just eff this guy. (for above)
March 2010
7 posts
i don’t really understand what’s going on inside of me… i’m happy and sad at the same time. but i think i’m going to drop off the grid for a while and try to figure it out.
too-da-loo
Barry Lopez:
“How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one’s culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the...
As I was driving to work this morning I was hit hard with a horrible yet terrific realization.
I love photography, I’m not that great at it but I still love it. I’m always ‘seeing’ pictures I want to take.
My realization: I never take them.
My realization 2: I’ll never be happy until I start.
Now what this means, I’m not sure. Do I get a little point and...
sometimes i think i’m too apathetic.
unfortunately, i don’t really care…
February 2010
20 posts
Alcohol
I have a love/hate relationship with alcohol. And today I hate it…
interesting
looks like i won’t be jumping ship as soon as i thought… i better like this job thing more when i get out to the field…
http://enr.ecnext.com/coms2/article_bmwf100224Construction
oh poe...
some great words displayed by a great artist (haxrox)
love
i love my guitar
i love my camera
i love my djembe
these things, when i’m at home alone (or alone in general), bring me joy and happiness; i get lost in time and just play. i can be whoever i want to be with these, i can freely express my emotions through these while nobody is watching. i can write, play, sing, write, erase, play, write, shoot, edit, etc.
when i have hours to pass an...
home
“home is where the heart is”
are we ever really home? what if our heart isn’t content, what if we’re always dreaming of what life could be, what if?
I refuse to believe we are to sit back and live with what we’re dealt. We need to take initiative, get out of whatever rut we think we’re in or we put ourselves in by following what others wanted us to do or...
beck - speaking my heart
Guess I’m Doing Fine - Beck
There’s a blue bird at my window I can’t hear the songs he sings All the jewels in heaven They don’t look the same to me I just wade the tides that turned Till I learn to leave the past behind It’s only lies that I’m living It’s only tears that I’m crying It’s only you that I’m losing Guess I’m doing...
Home
I finally feel at home. I had dinner at a friends house a few blocks up the street and just walked home through ‘my town’. It’s awesome. I’m beginning to feel like who I’m supposed to be. Just now, sitting here on my front steps, some guys speaking a different language come to my house looking for someone. I help them with the right door bell and they speak away in their own language (After...
stuff & things: i can't sleep. →
it’s almost 2am. lying on my back listening to this gorgeous sound in my ears makes me never want to move from here. i can feel my heart beating in my stomach. my toes are cold, again. i think i could listen to this song over and over again all night. it rubs at a layer of the tough skin i’ve…
If pictures speak a thousand words…. Then video speaks millions upon millions….
And yes I’m ‘working’ right now, with drink in hand, at a casino in Reno, watching college students present ‘problems’ they worked on all day yesterday and a company credit card… And I’ll ‘recruit’ tomorrow… Not bad I guess…
music.
so so so so so true!
steffaloo:
i am almost positive that music has the ability to make everything in the world seem perfect. this notion was confirmed last night as i was transported to utopia via st. vincent and her beautiful music. everything that was hurting suddenly didn’t hurt anymore.
music will save the world.
and again, the bends
wow… thank you Radiohead for this emotion because when I try “The words are coming out all weird”
Where do we go from here? The words are coming out all weird Where are you now when I need you? Alone on an aeroplane Fall asleep against the window pane My blood will thicken. I need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain ‘cause I’d be scared that...
fix you. fix me
Thank you Coldplay for more or less summing it up for me. And more proof that music is human emotion. And for me, the best way to express it, now I need to make some of my own shit… but if it’s pure emotion, who knows what will come out…
read, ponder, read, think, read, embrace, read, live:
When you try your best but you don’t succeed When you get what you want but not...
I cannot get the song, ‘time to pretend’ by MGMT out of my head. 85% of me wants to say fuck it all. But that other 15% feels the responsibility to get out of debt. Let me tell you, when I’m out of debt, I’m dropping off the radar, finally able to stop pretending and start living, doing what makes me happy. I can’t fucking wait. That’s all.
steffaloo:
i hate it when someone makes my heart work better, and i can’t be around them every second.
… i hate it when your heart hurts and you can’t get it to stop …
perspectacles.
Brilliant!!! Absolutely brilliant!
inventionsolutions:
have you ever wondered what the world looks like through YOUR eyes? ever wish you could just record life from YOUR perspective? ever been so drunk that you can’t remember anything that happened to you over the course of the night, only later to wish that you could have somehow captured all of those glorious moments you know you had?
...
I just spent the last couple hours whole heartily laughing with some awesome friends. I felt like I was a little bit alive again, I forgot what it felt like to be alive. It is awesome to be alive and truly living. I feel comfortable, I feel at home. I’m alone in my flat listening to traffic driving by on divisadero. But I finally feel a tiny a bit alive and it’s amazing. I have hope again. The...
music = emotion
My friend said to me yesterday, “music is human emotion.” This hit home, that’s why I love it so much. I don’t know if it’s my lack of emotion, my lack to display my emotion, my fear to display emotion or whatever. But I do know I have uncontrollable emotion and I don’t know how to display it so it wells up inside my body so much so I cannot function. In recognizing this, I realized...
January 2010
9 posts
once upon a time...
So one time I was at my dad’s church with him and actually wrote some notes down, as I scrolled through my ‘notes’ thingy on the iphone I came across them. This is what they read:
Journey of Faith
- We don’t know how hard they tried ‘not to sin’
- We don’t know what powers assailed them ‘to sin’
- We don’t know what we would have done...
Watchwas the son of a preacher man…
- remix by DJ Icey
Free
I step outside the office and fresh air fills my nasal passes, that which is not clogged by this irritating sickness, and I feel free again. I feel like I can keep living, I feel like I have hope, I feel free to do whatever the fuck I want to cause it’s my life now. I’m not ruled by office etiquette, office rules, authority or debt. I’m not working for a pay check anymore. I am...
Quandary
Why is it that as soon as I tell someone I’m sick or you feel like shit or whatever they take it as a reason to openly insult me… (“ya, you don’t look very good, you look pale, etc). But if I never said I was sick they wouldn’t have said anything… Is it just me this happens to? And if so why can’t people just be fucking honest, my feeling are tough to...
hope.love
I had a lot of time to think this morning as I waited to fly home from a great weekend with great friends in LA. As always I’m trying to figure out who I am or who I want to be. What makes sense to me? What do i believe? all that shit…
But this morning I pushed those thought away and tried to figure out what is important. What’s important in life, to everyone…
Disclaimer:...
Calvin Harris →
Ingenious… Click his name…
Huh
What is going on…
I’ve never been much of a ‘blog’ person….
Should I ‘blog’ or should I not?
If I do, should I ‘blog’ for others of for myself? If it’s for myself why make it public? Maybe it’s to share random thoughts, expressions, pictures, etc that have meaning to me and could possibly have meaning to someone else. Maybe...